Ah, The Safety of Puffalopes

636042411318026931-471225797_patrick_star_ice_creamsOut of all of the characters in the cartoon world, Patrick Star has to be my favorite. I know most of you may actually find SpongeBob Squarepants utterly annoying, but having a son who watched him growing up, and grandkids who watch him now, I have found Patrick to be the ultimate in things that make absolutely no sense, but are really senselessly funny. One of his most admirable quotes to me was when he said “It may be stupid, but it’s also dumb.”  Can you just see trying to argue with that logic? But crazily enough that logic is actually kind of sound in an odd sort of way.

Now I have to honestly say that while my Parkinson’s has changed me physically, the mental changes have by far been more challenging. My ability to focus and remain on task suffers greatly. It is sort of like this picture I saw that said “Roses are red, my name isn’t Dave, and this is really random, microwave.” It seems that’s how poetry goes for me anymore, and while frustrating, it can be equally hilarious as well. My memory, well, let’s just say I can’t actually remember when my memory actually worked like it was supposed to. Parkinson’s creates significant memory and cognitive loss, and can lead to Parkinson’s related dementia, so I decided to give up my memory in order to forget about the dementia. You spend a lot of time Knowing that while you have not completely lost your marbles, you realize that there is a hole in the bag, and you become very good at disguising that and hiding that from others.

With the cognitive and memory changes comes emotional changes as well, but I have actually found that my sense of humor has increased, and usually, the sillier something is, the more hilarious it is to me. Unfortunately, I am afraid this is annoying at times to those around me (much like Patrick), but I am glad that I am at least headed in that direction, instead of being depressed or sad, emotions that I also experience in pretty extreme ways sometimes. But anyhow, although this is pointless, I do have to get back to “It may be stupid, but it’s also dumb” point

This is not negative,  so that is why I wanted to pick some things that make me laugh, and also make little to no sense. I have some very important questions for you to think about in the first part. Question one: if I wasn’t meant to eat food in the middle of the night, why is there a light in the fridge? Question two: why is “W” called double-‘u’ when it is actually two V’s put together? Question three: what if Algebra teachers are really pirates, and when they tell us to find “x”, it’s so they can take the treasure?  Final question: Why is math the only place where someone can by 64 watermelons and nobody really cares why?

I also like words that are not real, but are so convincing in their use that you would think they were. I cannot take credit for these, but they are out there on the internet.

Jobfusticate – To arrange matters such that to other people your job appears to be so complex and technical that nobody else (least of all your boss) can understand exactly what it is you do

Outrance – The opposite of entrance.

Puffalope – One of those padded, puffy envelopes.

Opsablepsia – The inability to look someone in the eye

Fantabulous – An amalgamation of fantastic and fabulous.

Sploop – The flat, rounded corner that gets created when you drop your bar of soap in the shower.

Exhaustipated – Too tired to give a crap.

Please note that my favorite is lunch: a loved exercise somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. I love me some lunch.

Now, I know all of this may seem pointless, but I do believe laughter is some of the best medicine you can have, regardless of the struggle you are facing. You can read self-help manuals and study on logic like “when one door closes, another opens”, but I also believe that when one door closes, you just turn the doorknob and open it back up; that’s just how doors work. You may have days when you are holding a stick and everyone around you looks like a piñata, or you may experience those awkward moments when you take a shower in the middle of the afternoon and you don’t know whether to put on regular clothes or pajamas. Whatever comes around that tries to trip you up, find a way to laugh at it, and if it does happen to trip you up, wrap yourself in puffalopes so that the fall doesn’t hurt.

#noquit #justbe #bike2live #litwithin #move4PD #teamfox #parkinsons



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